BEING A MUSLIM- BEING IN A MUSLIM COUNTRY
I had the opportunity to live in a non Muslim country for few years. One aspect of life there which doesn’t escape from my thoughts still is- the plight of a woman there. There is so much abuse happening to her femininity in various names, which even she fails to realize. Men and women travel together in metros. The crowd and congestion makes room for so many wrong things to happen and go unnoticed. Certain incidents narrated by my friends to which they were witnesses or victims would make one’s heart bleed for what SHE (a woman) went through. Usually drunk men were the ones who created nuisance. A mob would unfailingly gather in response to misbehavior, more to the victim’s embarrassment than to punish the wrong one!!
It is trend these days for students to claim they have a boyfriend/ girlfriend. Youngsters probably hurry into a relationship to go with the world!!! But this is more often dangerous than not!! Also there are cinema halls, malls, restaurants, night clubs & coffee shops offering privacy in these countries!!!
Managing co- workers (men) at work place is another monster task!!! And if there was a stern boss, who demanded unethical compromises and blackmailed a female staff to satisfy his demands, there are numerous stories about her plight!!!
Listening to narrations or witnessing some of these incidents made me appreciate Islam better!! I could understand the value of my religion!!
It prohibits alcohol!!! Islam supports marriage at an early age & doesn’t allow socializing of men and women, Alhamdulillah!!! All this ensures a ban on drinking, men and women interacting in any form in our country. women don’t travel without their lawful men accompanying them. We are safer in a set up which ensures safety rather than one which posts protest and legal action after the damage is done, definitely!!
(Similar incidents threatening a woman’s safety probably happen in Islamic countries too, but since the law doesn’t support such things, the rate of occurrences of all social evils is Alhamdulillah lesser in comparison to non Islamic countries.) If each Muslim strives to be a good Muslim, the World will be a safer place Insha’Allah for us and our offsprings!!
As Muslims we must understand and believe that our laws are set by the One who knows everything- Allah (swt) the Maker of everything. He is Flawless, Perfect and Most Kind to His slaves. Therefore there can be nothing, absolutely, which can be difficult for us. I would like to mention a few Islamic laws which drew my attention as a result of my stay in a non Islamic set up!!
- Hijab (the much debated topic): Some non Muslims and some Muslims too consider Hijab as a restriction on the freedom of Muslim women!! But this is not true. Hijab saves us from all those social evils which women get subject to, due to improper dressing!! Alhamdulillah!! This sense of safety can only be experienced, not narrated!! I must mentioned that in the country where I worked (non Islamic) usually, people looked at those of us who practiced Hijab like some strange peculiar object walking around. Some tried hard to make us feel uncomfortable or convince us against following Hijab, till they got a firm rebellion to their opinion, Alhamdulillah!!
- Travelling with Men who are lawful only:We are always accompanied by our fathers or brothers or husbands, etc… (Our lawful men), we are safer than women who travel alone, aren’t we?? Alhamdulillah!!
By following our religion, we ensure safety for ourselves along with being blessed, Insha’Allah!! And all this is easy in a country governed by Islamic laws!! The law of the country (Islamic) supports us and helps us implement hadiths with ease, Alhamdulillah!!
- A Muslim man can marry up to four women: I would like to talk a little in detail about this hadith, which has received most criticism/ comment. I was always questioned about this hadith, in almost every conversation with a non Muslim.
I’ve heard many sisters and brothers (Muslim) comment “difficult hadith to implement”. I ask all those who belong to this category, “How can you make a comment like this when Allah (swt), is the One who made it lawful for us?? Is this right?? Isn’t this also lack of faith in its own way?? We have made it easy for misbelievers to ridicule this hadith, and ridicule /comment about the religion as a whole, because some of us (Muslims) too find it hard to accept as lawful!! and this attitude towards this hadith, is because we have allowed ourselves to be influenced by the non Muslim community!! This is landing us and the community as a whole in danger, by giving those who mock (at Islam) an upper hand!!
In my country, where the laws are Islamic, you will not encounter women or men who look down upon this hadith nor speak ill of the man who has taken more than one wife, nor is the woman who is not the first wife ridiculed / ill treated in any way!! Alhamdulillah!! A second or third or fourth wife is also treated fair. The whole act of taking more than one wife is respected as “Sunnah” of our prophet (saws). For the women who have co- wives, it is no difficulty or an impossibility, Alhamdulillah, to ensure safety for (up to three) other women who could have been subjected to social evils because they were unmarried!!
You will find most of the women who have co- wives, remark casually, “My husband takes care of me well, he is the best person I know and I desire this safety for my sister(in islam) too.” They respect the hadith! Their respect for the hadith and true concern for their sisters (in Islam), puts all those who fuss so much about this hadith to shame!!!
I ask, if there was a difficulty or if it was impractical or wrong, would Allah (swt) have said a man can marry up to four women?
When we try to understand why today’s Muslims fuss so much about this, the answer you will get is “we are being influenced!!!” and where does this influence begin?? It starts by living in a land which is not governed by Islamic laws. No religion other than Islam ever stated the upper limit for a man to marry. Many claim their religion commands, a man should have only one wife. I ask them all “can you prove it from your books?”As Muslims, we know this, but we are ashamed to voice this, WHY? I ask all those who feel shy to admit this, why do you do so?? It is definitely infuriating to see Muslims shy away or admit as if helpless, that “yes Islam allows a man to marry up to four women.” Some lower their heads (as if in shame), when a non Muslim says, “you people marry four women”. This response will anger anyone who respects Islam!!!
Indeed you must lower your head in shame for treating something which your ALLAH (swt), has made lawful for you with disrespect in your attempt to please others!! I ask, “as Muslims, is it our duty to please Allah (swt) or people around?? Don’t you then believe that their law is better than what your Allah has prescribed? How will you account to Allah (swt) for this?
Why this attitude??”
Sisters, When you desire respect, status and safety for yourself, does it not matter to you if a sister is left unsafe in the world where there is so much evil prevalent?? I must mention that even some brothers have an opinion to express about this hadith. Some consider it disloyalty to their wife if they took another wife?? Will you stand by this opinion even if your Allah (swt) allowed it?? Is it that you simply don’t care about your community? Is it that it doesn’t matter if your sisters in Islam faced difficulty? Don’t you owe anything to the community? If yes then you must not enjoy any benefits that you enjoy, because you are a Muslim!!!!!!!!!!!!! Deny the benefits too if you don’t desire to contribute to the betterment of a community!!
There is a hadith which is receiving neglect and we are letting it become one that will merely remain history, because we are ashamed and feel it is necessary to please non Muslims!!!!! How will you account to ALLAH (swt) for this??
What is the fuss about??
The prophet (saws) was the best man who ever lived, Alhamdulillah!! When his (saws) wives did not fuss about having co- wives, does it make sense that you look at having co wives as a shame, difficulty, and impracticality, oppose it without thinking??
Dear sisters please understand that if your husbands decide to take more than one wife (up to four), it might be better for you to agree and treat them well!! We know well that men depend on their wives for most decision, whether its something as simple as choosing a shirt or any other important decision. If we don’t support them to follow a hadith, it might receive reluctance at first and be forgotten too with time!!
Would you oppose to being the second or third or fourth wife if you were the one who was unsafe because you were single?? Then what is the fuss about??
We must all return to Allah (swt). We are here for His sake, so be mindful about obeying Him, Insha’Allah!! Be careful about how you present your religion. If you are doubtful about what you have been given and assume what a non Muslim has is better, beware!!!!!!
Be grateful to Allah (swt) for what He has given and feel proud, for, our laws are perfect, because the One who made them is Perfect, Alhamdulillah!!! Be kind to your sisters in Islam, Insha’Allah, you owe kindness to your community!!
Every hadith is rewarding we know. . Every hadith that we follow guarantees rewards, Insha’Allah. Life here will end one day, use every moment to collect rewards for the hereafter before that day comes, Insha’Allah!!
Let us redefine our attitude towards our religion and community, for our own good!! Let us resolve to look at four marriages for a man with pride than with shame. Of course this will be an eye sore for a disbeliever, because he cannot avail anything from this hadith. Protect your community from becoming a victim to ridicule because you failed to understand it, you failed to stand by it!!
Educating a woman is educating a society. Men might less hesitantly follow this hadith if their women understood that they have a duty towards their sisters in Islam too, Insha’Allah. Even if one more woman understood this, it would make a loud statement amongst her friends and family and probably another person might understand from her the need to save our women!!
If many in turn understood, we will change and do well as a community (as a whole,) Insha’Allah. To remind you again, we owe a duty to our community!!
It might be that a change can begin from you and we might progress, as a community, follow our prophet (saws) better, obey Allah (swt) better than now, Insha’Allah.
Don’t you want to set an example for your children as a good Muslim, sincere to Allah? Don’t you want to leave a safer world for your daughters and sons?? If we followed our religion well, our children will follow it better, Insha’Allah, but if we treat it with neglect and carelessness, they might treat it worse. Stop this degradation!!!
Take pride in being a Muslim!!! Every provision for us is from Allah (swt), The All Perfect. There can be nothing wrong with what He made lawful. Protect your deen and safeguard the community from facing loss as a whole!!! Migrate to a Muslim country if following your religion is difficult elsewhere (Islam, MIGRATION and Hajj abolish all previous sins).
Follow every hadith with sincerity for Allah’s (swt) sake. Your commitment to Allah, may inspire many to follow Islam better!! May we begin the process of changing as a community, may the change begin from us, now, Insha’Allah!! We owe it Allah!!